Emerald Reign's 2nd Adventure - Going Home

(Photos are at the bottom of page)

Going home! 

The blur still is lingering a bit. I think life does that. It takes us on a roller-coaster of emotional events that we weren't prepared for, it challenges us in those moments, it makes us or breaks us. There are times where it will feel like life is trying to rip you apart, like the universe is against you, like you can't really see the purpose of why it is being so difficult. I don't feel it is done with cruel intentions although in the midst of the experience it will feel like it. If you hang on to your strength and muster your way through it you'll come out on the other side and in most cases it will seem like a blur. The majority of little details fade away quickly and all that remains are the important moments left in your memory. It will seem like it wasn't that bad after all.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule. You'll find that out too, life is rarely ever 100% straight forward. Exceptions, comprises, and surprises are about the only consistent thing life can guarantee. 

It is now day 5 of your adventure on this Earth as I'm getting a chance to write this. We are on the back porch, your tummy full from nursing, and you are in dream land as I hold you. 

Remembering back to Friday August 22nd 2025

Your dad woke up ready to get out of prison, I mean the hospital, they feel almost like the same thing especially in that room we stayed in. There was a huge window almost the size of the entire left wall. It overlooked what appeared to be an outdoor courtyard. It seemed like one was looking outside, it wasn't outside at all. This world is full of illusions my sweet Emerald. This was one illusion that could really mess someone's mind up. It would be 10pm at night and the fake outdoor courtyard would give you the illusion it was 5pm on a cloudy day.

Being in there for too long I'm sure could really warp one's soul. 

Your dad can only handle so much of being caged up like a trapped animal. You'll see, little Emmy bear, your dad is like a wolf. He needs freedom, he needs outside, he needs sunshine and while he had plenty of patience during this whole experience I believe by Friday morning those patience were dwindling. We knew you were healthy, safe, and ready to go home. We had to wait on the results to come back for me to be safe to leave. I could see his antsy maneuvers brewing. I don't blame him, I was just as ready to get out of there and to see the sky and breathe real air too.

I eventually sent him on the car seat mission- installing it safely- so he would have something to do to occupy his restless mind as I waited for the paperwork. 

You'd be amazed, little Emmy at the paperwork one has to do to bring their very own child home. 

It finally came, the green light, the all clear, the documents signed and finalized, unfortunately putting you into the system that we wanted to avoid. Somehow the compromises were stacking up like an old drunks beer cans in a dark room beside their tattered recliner.

Don't worry, by the time you read any of these adventures you'll be a mature adult and hopefully will have our sense of humor and slight morbid way of looking at things, either way, you won't be too young for the content. 

The dreaded birth certificate was signed. Something we spent almost the whole 9 months debating, researching, and analyzing. Something the mast majority of society thinks is part of life, no big deal, something you just have to do. Something we know actually holds a lot of hidden messages, secrets, and lies behind it. Something that still confused us because in this world if you aren't loaded with money or indoctrinated with degrees it can be challenging to navigate and know what to do. They make it so difficult and confusing. We finally opted to just get the darn thing and we told ourselves that would be the last compromise for a while. They told us we didn't have to do it, the birth certificate, but they also told us of all of the reasons it was a good idea to have it. Mentally exhausted from the battles of standing our ground on so many other things in such a short period of time we did it. 

Your dad of course had to put his charm on some of the answers so if your birth certificate comes back saying your father is a land camel don't be too upset with him. It isn't that we don't take things seriously, it is that we take the serious things seriously and the world's chaos and made up junk is irrelevant to us. Our mission together, your father and I, is to show other people the truth of this world, to break the illusions, to help others see beyond the make believe concepts and to help them make changes if they choose to do so.

I promise, Emmy we aren't trying to be difficult, we only want to do what is right, what is instinctual, what is real. So much of this world isn't based on those things and as you grow up we hope to protect you from as much of it as we can while still allowing you to be free to make your own decisions about it all. 

We are only your mom and dad, your guides in life, not your owner, therefore it will be your choice to make waves with us or not. We are not your parents, a "pair who rents" their child from the government. We are your protectors, your friend, your allies against the harshness of the world until you are capable of REIGNING on the war yourself, we are your supporters, your everything we can be. Difficult for you is not our goal so let your dad say he is a land camel because the birth certificate is merely another illusion, another trick, another false part of the system. 

That is why your dad came up with your middle name- Reign. He said, "Emerald Reign, she will Reign over all the land her feet touch!" So, your name went from Emerald Rose to Emerald Reign. I love it. I love the strength of it.

Your dad pulled the jeep around, you and I waited for the nurses to wheel us out. 

There we went. Baby Emerald it was your 2nd time in the hallway. I don't remember the first time, unfortunately, that blur sucked up that memory. Me in my haze of the magnesium drip and the universe deciding it wasn't a core thing to leave ingrained on me. All I know is it had to be your second time in the hall because that room wasn't the same room in which you took your first breath of air. It is now day 5 as I write this so please forgive my mind slipping on all of the details. This was one reason I was determined for a home birth. A home birth I'm sure leaves one's memories more intact because it is natural, it is in our comfortable environment, we can let our walls down and spend our minds focused on the moments fully present instead of having magnesium dripping through our bodies and conversation after conversation trying to persuade us to comprise again. 

Things happened the way they did and while I don't know the exact reason we had to be challenged in such a vulnerable precious time, we were, and we've accepted it. We aren't bitter even though it may come across that way. We promise your adventures will be magical and full of love and wonder. It was simply taxing on our souls the way this first adventure went.

You deserved better.

So, back to your second time in the hallway and believe me I do remember this ride in the over sized cart - wheel-chair thing. They don't let mom's walk to the car after giving "birth."

It felt wonky going into the hall. A lot of things felt wonky during our stay in the hospital, but this wonky was different than the others. This one felt foreign, as if it too, was my 2nd time in a giant hallway. A hallway full of people, doors going to other "birthing" rooms, it was slightly overwhelming. It felt like we didn't belong there. I told myself it will be better once we get outside. 

Emerald, we got to the sliding doors, we were carted out there onto the sidewalk and I could see your dad waiting in the jeep. It felt like a giant airport. This hospital wasn't like the other hospitals I'd been in. Foreigner's everywhere, people speaking all kinds of languages as they walked past, cars piled up waiting for their loved ones to emerge from the building too. I'm by no means racist or against other cultures and you'll know that when you are old enough to read these pages. It just felt like the Miami Airport is all I'm saying. As a matter of fact you have Cuban blood in you. We are all foreigner's on this land unless we are Native American, but that is a conversation for a different day. 

I didn't see the hospital when I was taken off the ambulance. I was laying down on my back on a rolling bed and wheeled into the stark building when I came in. So, I was seeing it all for the first time. 

Into the sun we went, fresh air. Well, city fresh air, but air none the less. 

It felt terrifying, here you are; so tiny and so innocent and asleep in my arms and parked behind your dad was a van with a lady screaming hysterically, "no! I don't want to go!!" Over and over she screamed and flailed her arms about. By the time we had the majority of the things in the jeep and you snug in your car seat, they had police at the van behind us trying to force the woman in. Yes, I have a ton of empathy and yes any other day that whole scene would have broke my heart but on this day, in this moment, as I was beginning to come out of my own blur of events all I could feel was my protective instincts kicking in. I wanted to shield you from hearing the screams, I wanted to shield you from the real world, at least for a little while. This world is something one needs to be acclimated to and not thrown into like a sewage rat. Luckily, you slept. You woke a little as the nurse helped me buckle you and then back to sleep you went. The nurse hugged me and wished us the best. The nurses, most of them, did become like friends for a short period, a lot of them telling us in private they are supportive of our choices and they felt the same way. As I hugged her and we said our farewells it did feel like there was a bigger purpose to this whole entire "birthing" experience and that it needed to go the way it did in order to have an impact. Maybe we will help build the bridge between medical and medicinal. In that brief hug it did feel like two worlds could exist together. The medical industry and the holistic approach could possibly become friends and embrace one another. I'm sure wilder things have happened. 

You slept, I sat in the back with you, your dad did his best to get us safely out of the city. 

When I was a kid all I wanted was to live in the big city, the lights, the sounds, the people, the diversity, the high energy, the options of so many things. As I got older those things have faded from my desires and especially in that moment as your dad gently swerved around a gross city bus with its black exhaust hogging up the fresh air. The city couldn't be further from my desires for you. 

Hungry, your dad and I could probably have eaten nearly anything. It was 3pm and all we had eaten was some pickings of the fruit platter the nutritionist brought by at the hospital. I'll write about that later. We talked about where to eat. Since we had been transferred to the bigger hospital we had an hour and a half drive to get home. We needed to break the trip up anyway so you could get out of the car seat for a bit. We finally settled on olive garden in Zanesville. We wanted pasta and since we rarely ever eat out we figured it would be fine to splurge on a better tasting toxic meal, so we did. 

I heard the ladies at the table beside us, oohing and ahhing over you. "I've never seen a new baby with such beautiful color before!" and "it's rare for a baby that little to have beautiful hair like that!" I heard them say. Of course you are already wowing people, you are Emerald, you are going to shake the room up when you are in there. Your cord blood already showing off it's purpose and powers. Your coloring was impeccable from the first breath. 

We ate, I mean I literally finished my whole meal, I was so hungry. Breadsticks and salad and pasta all of it. Remind me later Emmy that your dad loves tortellini and that is something you and I should learn to make from scratch together. I am cherishing you being a new soul here. I patiently await all of the things we will cook from scratch together. 

Back on the road, it felt so weird having our perfect little Emerald out in the real world. Part of me wanted to slip back into the illusion of being safe in the hospital room. Sure, it wasn't where I wanted to be, but there wasn't traffic in there.

Finally, we pulled off the interstate and dad stopped to get gas real quick. We turned onto our road and relief came over me. 

Grandma was sitting on the front porch, I'm sure the anticipation of waiting for you to come home hadn't been easy. She definitely lit up like a glow stick when she looked at you. I instantly knew you came to this earth to heal us all in different ways. 

She held you and fell in love with you even more than I think she thought possible. I could see it, I could feel it. 

Dad brought in everything from the car. Your placenta in the bowl went to the basement in the freezer. We will eventually plant it with a fruit tree. Your placenta will be with us where it belongs not in some kind of underground reptilian scheme. You were born whole and sovereign and intact with everything that belongs to you, the way our Creator designed. 

I took you into your room for a diaper change and to show you around. Grandma had picked you some flowers from the garden and had them on your dresser. She had vacuumed our room, and washed our towels, I could tell the anticipation of waiting on you had weighed on her mind. Us women typically clean to distract ourselves but we also do it because we want our loved ones to have a nice clean environment. I knew she had probably kept busy to not worry too much. I ignored the still blown up birthing pool, it was definitely glaring at me as I had my back to it and changing your diaper.

We took it easy the rest of the evening. We sat on the back porch talking about the experience and boasting about how our baby is perfect the way most parents do only we know ours really is. 

The blur, the tiredness, the whole thing we had just went through sort of envelopes the little details. We went to bed for our first night home together as a family. 

They say co-sleeping is bad. We do it anyway. We follow our instincts. You stayed content all night, waking to nurse for a little bit here and there. A diaper change some time in the middle of the night became a family event as dad got up to join us because he loves to be with you no matter what the occasion. Everything felt so complete, so whole, so full, so perfect. 

That was your 2nd adventure, Emerald Reign made it home where she belongs.