Emerald's 6th letter + A Witch of a mom

(Photos are at the bottom of page)

September 11th 2025

Today I finally figured out how to make the pattern for any witch hat size without needing assistance from someone else. It really wasn't complicated. Hopefully you don't pick up that trait from me. The one where I make something entirely more complicated than it needs to be. 

I remember meditating a few years back and it came to me that I make things complicated because I subconsciously feel that if I don't struggle to obtain something then I don't deserve it. I have done my best to work on that, apparently without success because I'm still failing in that part of life. I hope you don't struggle as much as your dad and I have. Yes, it has some perks, the struggling, but that is a letter for a different day. 

I really look forward to you and I having matching witch hats for this season.

When I was a kid the majority of my friends and those around me wanted to dress up as a princess or some kind of Disney character. I found wearing a witch costume to be more powerful and unique. As an adult I still tap into that child like magic and embrace the wonder of the universe. I often think back to those chilly autumn Halloween nights with my witch hat, broom, and trick or treat bucket in hand; the memories envelope my soul as I recall the sound of crisp leaves tumbling on the side walk and the laughter from the kids swirling around in the wind. Back in the 90s it felt so innocent, like anything could happen, it was as if everything was perfect. Too bad you don't get to experience the 90s. No worries though because your dad and I are going to make sure you have an incredible little life. 

Nearly every year I looked forward to being a witch, I looked forward to feeling like magic was dancing around me, I looked forward to being able to let my imagination run wild. I still find ways as an adult to incorporate those nostalgic feelings into my life. I hope to infuse your childhood with those feelings and thoughts too. Imagination is such an incredible tool that too many adults have lost. 

I'm sure if you are reading these letters Emerald, you are well aware of other people having their opinions. They have them and that is okay, even if their opinions are usually based on false narratives, misinformation, or a lack of simply knowing a person/situation. I remember my dad saying when I was young, "opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." I always thought it was hilarious when he said that. He was right. My dad was right about everything he ever told me, even the things I thought he was wrong about. Especially, the things I thought he was wrong about. I should have taken his wisdom more seriously, but when we are young, we think we know everything. 

As I got older and started learning about spirituality outside of the box from organized religion I discovered the majority of what I naturally felt does fall under the category of the majority of definitions of a witch. You see, little Emmy, many things in our society are twisted and turned to make people live in fear, surprise, they did the same with the whole entire witch subject. They made them out to be these awful people which caused harm when in the majority of cases they were simply energy weavers, they worked with the phases of the moon, sun, and planets, they worked with herbs, and other natural resources to heal and bring peace and order to life. Is there a such thing as evil witches? Yes, absolutely just like in any of the churches there is evil there as well. In all honesty Evil is a matter of opinion, personal values, and also depends on the perspective of the person judging the act in question. Being a witch is no more evil than being anything else. It is all about intentions and our overall energy. Anyway, I would rather refer to myself as a witch. It is rebellious in a way that says, "I will not conform to societies bullshit and I will be who I am. Period." Too bad we don't have green faces and an ugly wart to scare off the closed minded people the way Disney portrays them. 

Anyway, today I started cutting the fabric for our hats. At the moment you aren't even a month old. I don't know if you will like the witchy things the way I do. If you don't that is perfectly okay. I want you to be you and I will always support who you are. I want to know you, Emerald. I don't care to mold you into something I desire. If you want to be a boring car mechanic or a fashion designer, a poet, a teacher, or whatever you choose to be then I'll be in your corner. All I ask is that you are true to yourself and you lead with love. No offense to car mechanics, to me it seems boring though. 

I'm looking at you as I type this, you're still so tiny. Grandma and I measured you today while you did your kicking and stretching on the back patio. You have grown an entire inch! 21 inches now. I did try to include your whole foot in the measurement. I gently pressed your toes down and measured to the tip of them. 23 inches! Grandma laughed as she told me to measure to your heel! I laughed so hard because in that moment it dawned on me that us adults don't stand like a ballerina to measure our height. Sometimes your mom is flat out ditzy. As I'm looking at you sleeping in my arms, I see so much of your dad in your little face. I see me too. It is so..... I don't know the word.... I love your dad incredibly and to see you, a precious little Emerald made of parts of your father and I combined brings a whole new feeling to my heart that I can't explain. 

I love looking at you while you sleep. So innocent, so perfect, still connected to the other realm. I get lost in another world looking at you. You typically go to bed at 830. I always lay down with you, you nurse, we play, you nurse again, then you are out. Tonight, before bed I had you propped up on a pillow at the foot of the bed while I talked to you about our bedtime routine. I made your dad and I an ice water and put them on our nightstands, each on our side of the bed. Then I explained to you how I was seeing if your dad needed his syringes refilled. I'm sure you are well aware of how we really don't speak too much about your dad experiencing type 1 diabetes. What you speak, is your reality or you are saying you want more of it. So we don't really speak it out loud often. Hopefully by the time you are an adult and can read these letters we have figured out how to rid your father of the diagnosis. Anyway, shortly after being with your dad I decided if he was going to need syringes to take insulin then he deserved better than to dig them out of the plastic bag. I took a glass yogurt container and hot glued cute ribbon around it and that is where I make sure he has syringes. Tonight, as you were propped up on the pillow facing the foot of the bed, I talked to you as I put your dad's ice water on his bedside table, then I explained to you how we needed to refill the little jar with syringes, then I looked over at you; your sweet little eyes held my gaze and I smiled because I knew you could see me. It was the first time I truly, without question knew you actually could see me, hear me, and wanted to look for me. It was as if you hung onto every word I was saying. I want you to know you don't have to look far, mom and dad will always be there. Life has taught me deeply in my heart and soul to hold those we love as close as we can. Don't ever make them wonder. You'll never have to wonder if you are loved, you'll never have to ask more than once for time, you'll never have to look far, sweet little Emerald. This life can have moments of harshness and when those moments come about I want you to know you are safe in our love. I hear your father coming up the stairs, he will want to play with you even though you are sleeping. He will tell you, "daddy loves you" as you make adorable faces in your sleep. Night night my sweet little pumpkin pie.